I saw a post on facebook not too long ago, about the behavior expected of a 1950’s husband, and how modern men should learn to act that way.
1. Provide for your wife and family financially. The typical 1950s wife stayed at home to cook, clean and take care of the children. Having a good job that provides health benefits and enough income to keep your family comfortable should be one of the top priorities
2. Make sure that your wife feels appreciated. When you come home to a clean house and a hot meal, be sure to thank your wife for providing you with these things. Surprising her with flowers or another small gift will take you far.
3. Make sure that your wife feels appreciated. When you come home to a clean house and a hot meal, be sure to thank your wife for providing you with these things. Surprising her with flowers or another small gift will take you far.
4. Check in with your children. When Junior got into trouble at school, the wife would likely wait until the husband got home from work to have a talk with him. Be sure to balance out your parenting skills and fulfill the duties that your wife cannot. Take time out of your busy schedule to spend with your family.
5. Be happy to see her. We all have bad days but try to leave those out of the home. If work was stressful, leave those negative feelings at the office. This doesn’t mean you cannot communicate about worries or troubles, just try to enjoy each others company and focus on a happy household.
That sounds very simple and easy, doesn’t it? But there is another side to that coin. What about what was expected of a woman?
1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
5. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
6. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
7. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
8. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
9. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
10. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
11. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place.
Oh it gets better. See, a 1950’s housewife guide didn’t just outline how we should treat our husbands, but also how to be a damn grown woman.
Touchstones of Mature Behavior
1. A mature woman profits by her own experience and the experience of others.
2. She integrates what she knows and lives by that integrated knowledge.
3. She has some knowledge of social life, how it is organized, what the requirements are for living in a society.
4. She understands the finesse of social relationships.
5. She makes concessions to others, but at the same time she does not become too dependent upon them.
6. She has a reasonable respect for authority and tradition.
7. A mature woman lives in a world of reality.
8. She faces an unalterable situation in which she has a deep interest, with poise and a minimum of conflict.
9. She depends upon adult accomplishments for prestige.
10. She uses the present rather than the past as a point of departure.
11. She accepts her chronological age for what it is.
12. The mature woman is independent of her parents.
13. A mature woman does not depend too much upon flattery, praise and compliments.
14. She does not easily take offense at slights or what she interprets as slights.
15. She accepts the responsibility for her own acts.
16. A mature woman controls her behavior, acknowledging possible undesirable urges and appetites in herself, but controlling them.
17. She will endure present discomfort and sacrifice for future gain.
18. Her behavior is determined in part on the basis of principles rather than pleasure or pain.
19. A mature woman has an attitude toward sex, love and marriage compatible with adulthood.
20. She is heterosexual.
21. She carries into marriage the desirable elements of courtship but not the elements of uncertainty.
22. She is adequately prepared for marriage.
The Immature Woman
“Excesses are signs of immaturity–excess drinking, smoking, eating, fondness for clothes, gambling and quarreling. Other signs of immaturity are hysteria, temper tantrums, the desire to have too much attention, intolerance, and inconstancy. The hypochondriac woman always complaining of headaches, backaches, dizzy spells, choking sensations where there is no physical basis is an immature person. The foregoing immature reactions result in an unhappy marriage.”
Does that second one sound familiar? If you want a man to support your ass, prove you’re worthy of it. Support yourself first. And don’t bitch about having ‘the perfect gentleman’ if you can’t hold up your end of the relationship. It takes two.
(YES THIS IS EXTREMELY OUTDATED. I mean, no right to question him? Heterosexual?)
You have to live up to what you’re asking for. If you want him to support you, you don’t just get to stay home and binge watch netflix while the kids are at day care. You have to be an active woman. Active in your community and in your child’s lives. No matter what era you live in. It takes two, and you get back what you put into it.
My point is, don’t complain about how men treat you until you take a look at how you treat yourself and others. You can’t control how many losers or abusive people are going to walk into your life. You’re going to get hurt somewhere along the way. What you can control is how you walk away from it. You can carry the pain with you, and push it onto other people. Or you can brush it off, and learn how to be a better person from the experience. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your own. We are only victims as long as we hold onto the pain.
Embrace your femininity, but don’t be a hypocrite.