Marriage in the 1950’s?

I saw a post on facebook not too long ago, about the behavior expected of a 1950’s husband, and how modern men should learn to act that way.

1. Provide for your wife and family financially. The typical 1950s wife stayed at home to cook, clean and take care of the children. Having a good job that provides health benefits and enough income to keep your family comfortable should be one of the top priorities

2. Make sure that your wife feels appreciated. When you come home to a clean house and a hot meal, be sure to thank your wife for providing you with these things. Surprising her with flowers or another small gift will take you far.

3. Make sure that your wife feels appreciated. When you come home to a clean house and a hot meal, be sure to thank your wife for providing you with these things. Surprising her with flowers or another small gift will take you far.

4. Check in with your children. When Junior got into trouble at school, the wife would likely wait until the husband got home from work to have a talk with him. Be sure to balance out your parenting skills and fulfill the duties that your wife cannot. Take time out of your busy schedule to spend with your family.

5. Be happy to see her. We all have bad days but try to leave those out of the home. If work was stressful, leave those negative feelings at the office. This doesn’t mean you cannot communicate about worries or troubles, just try to enjoy each others company and focus on a happy household.

That sounds very simple and easy, doesn’t it? But there is another side to that coin. What about what was expected of a woman?

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

5. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

6. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

7. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

8. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

9. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

10. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

11. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. A good wife always knows her place.

Oh it gets better. See, a 1950’s housewife guide didn’t just outline how we should treat our husbands, but also how to be a damn grown woman.

Touchstones of Mature Behavior

1. A mature woman profits by her own experience and the experience of others.
2. She integrates what she knows and lives by that integrated knowledge.
3. She has some knowledge of social life, how it is organized, what the requirements are for living in a society.
4. She understands the finesse of social relationships.
5. She makes concessions to others, but at the same time she does not become too dependent upon them.
6. She has a reasonable respect for authority and tradition.
7. A mature woman lives in a world of reality.
8. She faces an unalterable situation in which she has a deep interest, with poise and a minimum of conflict.
9. She depends upon adult accomplishments for prestige.
10. She uses the present rather than the past as a point of departure.
11. She accepts her chronological age for what it is.
12. The mature woman is independent of her parents.
13. A mature woman does not depend too much upon flattery, praise and compliments.
14. She does not easily take offense at slights or what she interprets as slights.
15. She accepts the responsibility for her own acts.
16. A mature woman controls her behavior, acknowledging possible undesirable urges and appetites in herself, but controlling them.
17. She will endure present discomfort and sacrifice for future gain.
18. Her behavior is determined in part on the basis of principles rather than pleasure or pain.
19. A mature woman has an attitude toward sex, love and marriage compatible with adulthood.
20. She is heterosexual.
21. She carries into marriage the desirable elements of courtship but not the elements of uncertainty.
22. She is adequately prepared for marriage.

The Immature Woman

“Excesses are signs of immaturity–excess drinking, smoking, eating, fondness for clothes, gambling and quarreling. Other signs of immaturity are hysteria, temper tantrums, the desire to have too much attention, intolerance, and inconstancy. The hypochondriac woman always complaining of headaches, backaches, dizzy spells, choking sensations where there is no physical basis is an immature person. The foregoing immature reactions result in an unhappy marriage.”

Does that second one sound familiar? If you want a man to support your ass, prove you’re worthy of it. Support yourself first. And don’t bitch about having ‘the perfect gentleman’ if you can’t hold up your end of the relationship. It takes two.

(YES THIS IS EXTREMELY OUTDATED. I mean, no right to question him? Heterosexual?)

You have to live up to what you’re asking for. If you want him to support you, you don’t just get to stay home and binge watch netflix while the kids are at day care. You have to be an active woman. Active in your community and in your child’s lives. No matter what era you live in. It takes two, and you get back what you put into it.

My point is, don’t complain about how men treat you until you take a look at how you treat yourself and others. You can’t control how many losers or abusive people are going to walk into your life. You’re going to get hurt somewhere along the way. What you can control is how you walk away from it. You can carry the pain with you, and push it onto other people. Or you can brush it off, and learn how to be a better person from the experience. You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your own. We are only victims as long as we hold onto the pain.

Embrace your femininity, but don’t be a hypocrite.

Some Thoughts on Same-Sex Marriage. It’s Not All Rainbows and Unicorns.

I have to share this because the point she makes is one I share. Im not lgbt, and though I do want equality for all regardless of race or sex, i do not think marriage is the answer. I love that they have finally won the right to marry, and that future generations will become more open minded for this victory. But I agree that marriage is a patriarchal institution that men and women alike are pressured into. It’s not an end all solution, but one step on the way.

Pamela Helberg

I have some things to say that are not going to be very popular, Dear Reader. Seems to be a trend lately, but I’ve got to be true to myself. Here’s the deal. Yesterday morning when my running buddy texted me asking if I’d seen the SCOTUS ruling yet, my heart sank a little. Not because I don’t believe we need equality. I totally believe we do. I’m just not sure marriage is the best means to that end.

So, while I’m happy that so many people I know are happy, I’ve not rainbowed my Facebook picture. I probably won’t. And here’s why: I’m a failure at gay marriage. As I type this blog, my same-sex marriage is dissolving its way through the Whatcom County Court system. My wife and I (for technically we still are married) were together 15 years. We got legally married in December 2013, and our…

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“Avengers Assemble” – “Marvel’s Avengers: Age of Ultron” Review

The Daily Geekette

Once upon a time, in a movie industry filled with dark adaptation after adaptation, a little company called Marvel came and reinvented how one makes a Superhero genre film, and the world has not been the same since. Now, in 2015, Marvel releases their next highly anticipated addition to their MCU, titled Avengers: Age of Ultron, and it has all the hype surrounding it that any film could wish for. But, does it indeed live up to such a grand status?


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Checking out Classic Who: The Deadly Assassin

The Daily Geekette

The Deadly Assassin is a unique serial in the canon of Classic Doctor Who and is the first serial to be set entirely on Gallifrey. It is the first time the Doctor is without a companion, as Sarah Jane had just left the serial before. The absence of a companion won’t happen again until the modern series. The Doctor finds himself in between companions during special episodes such as “Runaway Bride,” “Voyage of the Damned,” and “Waters of Mars.”

It’s also perhaps the only time we see The Doctor in Gallifreyan robes. Can you imagine if every incarnation of the Doctor wore them? They would have a difficult time with all that running!

The Doctor wearing Prydonian robes (image credit)

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Borael (Tentative Title) Sneak Peek

At last! Here is a sneak peak of the Hobbit fanfiction I have been working on.

The first time that I met the Empress, she asked me to go with her; to ride the wind, to let the thunder roll through my veins, and let the lightning run its fingers through my hair. But I had to refuse- because I knew that if I left with her I would never return, and I feared leaving my people to care for themselves. It was the second time that I met her that I knew I must go, for I could be of no further help to the elves of Lindon. I followed the winter storm, out of the forest and down the mountain. The bright green of Alfheim gave way to white and cold. With each step that took me farther from the land of my birth, each breath filled my chest deeper. With each gust of wind that threatened to knock me off of my feet and bury me alive in the snow, I felt freer than I ever had in the land of eternal youth and beauty. The wind was my spirit- and the storm was as much my sister as one who would share my blood-if not more so. For this voice, this immortal, wild voice filled my head and heart as no music ever had, and I had no choice but to follow it-or risk losing myself forever.

My white hair whipped my face, and the chattering of my teeth increased as I continued on. Looking behind I saw deep footsteps filling quietly with snow. With each step farther from the grove I grew heavier and my feet sunk farther into the drifts. The cold bit me sharply, but I knew the storm would abate if my life became endangered. This realization was bittersweet. The exhilaration that came with riding the wind was tinged with a very real danger if the spirit of the storm should turn on me. I knew then why my people hid high away in their haven- where they could feel the winds caress, but were protected by the spirit of the mountain by all but the fiercest of storms. They were afraid.

In my lifetime, only the storm that called itself The Empress had ever been strong enough to whisper to us through the mountains protection. Though we ignored her, disrespected her power and rejected the gifts she offered us, she had returned. She had given us another chance. How could I say no a second time? That was what we were meant for-the Alvor-Elves of the North, Riders of the Wind. But instead we cowered, too afraid of losing our lives to actually live them. It appeared to have taken the impetuousness of human nature embedded deep within me to over-ride that sense of fear.

What separated me from the kin I grew up alongside for three thousand years wasn’t my human father, but the harmony with which my elven and human blood resided within me. I walked both worlds, mortal and immortal, earth and sky. I could hear the rocks sing as easily as I could the wind’s scream. I was different, and as if it were destined, I was the first Alva in three thousand years to heed the call of the wind. My name is Borael.

I have much planned for this. Two parts to be sure, but possibly a third, depending on where the second one takes me.

What is the difference between Steampunk Science and Steampunk Magic?

Cogpunk Steamscribe

Arthur C. Clarke’s Three Laws :

  1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
  2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
  3. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Witch with vacuum as broom Steampunk Witch with a Vacuum-cleaner for a broom

Scientist Steampunk Scientist, off to give a seminar

Steampunk is a literary genre that doesn’t mind a dash of fantasy mixed in with its Science! The best example of genre this would be the Laws of Magic series by Michael Pryor, who also wrote two Science & Magic Steampunk books around his characters, the Extraordinaires. There is no reason as to why you can’t have a mix of both scientists and magicians in a Steampunk setting.

So, how does magic…

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Jessie Street ~ Australian Activist Ahead of Her Time

Random Phoughts

Day 346 of Colourisation Project – April 18

Challenge: to publish daily a colourised photo that has some significance around the day of publication. 

She was the only Australian woman delegate at the founding of the United Nations in 1945; the initiator of the 1967 ‘Aboriginal’ amendment of the Australian Constitution; and a colleague of Pablo Picasso on the World Peace Council Executive.

Jessie Street Passport Photo   ~   Jessie Street  1915  –   Coloured by Loredana Crupi

Born on this day, 18 April 1889, Jessie Street was a humanitarian who lived by the principle that all people are equal. Her life was one of dedication to social reform, peace and justice. One of Australia’s leading feminists of the 20th century, she was recognised internationally for her activism in social justice causes.

The daughter-in-law, wife and mother of three Chief Justices, she was despite her privileged background, known as ‘Red Jessie’ to a…

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Found this post for you on Tumblr

I work at a swim school and we occasionally have birthday parties. I over hear a conversation one of the kids had with their mom



Hears conversation between a mom and daughter who is like 6.

Mom: Looking at news article on phone about Sam Smith**

Girl: Mommy why is Sam Smith kissing a boy?

Mom: it’s because he’s gay honey.

Girl: Mommy what does gay mean?

Mom: Like girls like boys, it’s when boys like boys.

Girl: Oh….well why can’t girls like girls?

Mom: They can they’re called lesbians.

Girl: lessions?

Mom: No, Les-Bee-Ens.

Girl: Oh Okay,….can I be lesbian?

Mom: Sure, only if you feel that way, why?

Girl: Cuz there’s this girl name katey and she’s really really pretty like prettier then Elsa.


Girl: Yeah, I want her to be my girlfriend.

Mom: Okay, wait…what about that other kid you liked, that boy named Jimmy.

Girl: I don’t like Jimmy anymore, I only said that cause I thought I didn’t have anymore options but boys.

Mom: *starts dying laughing*

Me *starts dying laughing*


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Theater Thursday: Bringing On The Childhood Feels – Beauty and the Beast Updates and Anastasia

The Daily Geekette

Welcome to another addition of Theater Thursday! This week, we’re bringing on that nostalgic magic and discussing some new things on the horizon. Princesses, sword fights, magic spells–yeah, you know the drill. So grab your sparkly shoes, your cassette tape soundtracks, and all your childhood feels–and let’s make some Theater magic!

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